The thrill and the frill, the spark, the butterflies in the lower pit of her tummy. That excitement. That sense of wonder. Instead, there’s drudgery. There’s same old, same old. The act of getting it on feels like a chore and a bore, rather than a whoa mama moment. Ugh! However, this isn’t necessarily a permanent state of being.
You can fall back in love with your wardrobe!
Hang on, what were you thinking I was thinking? I’m a frocking expert, not a relationships expert!
Shall we continue?
I work with a wide range of women to help them achieve effortless style so they can get on with their day, confident that they’re showing up in a way that’s reflective of who they are and what they bring. They share commonalities and differences in their challenges, and often it’s a feeling of ‘blah’ to best describe why they reach out to me.
I recently listened to an interview with Miguel Maestre (King of the Jungle and celebrity chef) offering tips on what to buy for your pantry, the ingredients that serve us well as well as those little bits and bobs that elevate a meal from ho hum to yum yum (and yes, my darling offspring will cringe at this one).
After recommending that the fresh food aisle is core to shopping and advocating us to steer clear of the stodge (too late for some, I see you with the flour around your mouth) he offered a simple reminder that it’s always a good time to fall in love with cooking.
This spoke to me directly.
One because I’m shite at cooking. The dog won’t even eat my leftovers.
But two because I have on many occasions adopted a cooking metaphor in my explanation of why so many of us struggle with achieving a style and wardrobe that we love.
In the same way that stocking up on the right pantry ingredients is essential to not only creating a good meal but also relishing the process of cooking it, having the right wardrobe staples is critical to creating a winning outfit and more importantly, delighting in the dressing experience.
Yes, I said delight. Stick with me. It is possible.
So, if you would like to fall head over heels in love with your wardrobe again here are the top three things you can do now to start building your forever wardrobe:
1. Take stock – not the chicken kind
This is a quick and dirty snapshot of the most effective action you can take now. So without further ado grab your big black bin bag and ditch the following from your wardrobe:
Don’t fit – Does it fit your body as it is today? Try it on and decide. If the answer is no, and it can’t be altered, it’s finished.
Don’t flatter – Does it flatter your body shape and complement your colouring? If not, it’s finished.
Don’t feel good (physically, emotionally or both) – How do you feel when you wear this item? A piece of clothing might fit and flatter but for some reason it still doesn’t feel right. Maybe it’s not really your style. Maybe it’s uncomfortable and doesn’t fit with the demands of your day. Or maybe it represents another time in your life that you’re trying to hold on to. If it doesn’t make you feel great, it’s finished.
Don’t function – if it can’t be freshened up (dry clean, de-pilled, stains, underarms, yellowed or fixed (sewing, button on, zip re-attached) off you trot!
2. Discover your style identity
Let’s think about re-invention. So much of how we see ourselves is reflected in our style, however as we move through the seasons of life our perceptions might shift, but our style sometimes doesn’t follow. To do this you need to build knowledge around your:
- Body shape and proportion
- Colouring and complexion
- Wardrobe/lifestyle fit (and these will involve something more than the schlep from bedroom to home office to lounge and back to bed)
- Style preference.
Let’s focus on the last one.
Most women fit into one of three over-arching style preferences:
- Contemporary – the perfect balance of bang* and basic*
- Classic – a timeless blend of basic that in no way equates to boring
- Fashion forward – a symphony of bang and bang that screams style success as opposed to hot blithering mess.
While some stylish chameleons will enthusiastically straddle all three style preferences, most women have a dominant preference, perhaps with a secondary one depending on the day.
Reflecting on the categories above, which one speaks to you most strongly?
*Bang – statement pieces of clothing that add something a little unexpected to your outfits. It might be the cut, the fabric, the pattern/colour, the details or all of the above that render this bang rather than basic.
3. Balance your ingredients and flavours
Here is where we bring back that lovin’ feeling.
You’ve taken stock of your wardrobe. You’ve culled the dead weight. You know your style. We can now play!
Grab a handful of separates and be your own visual merchandiser. Make outfits from head to toe, go to whoa.
Take photos of the combos that look incredible and save them in your phone for angst-free mornings. Hint hint, my clients love love LOVE my LookBook service for that very reason.
Ready to fire up the wardrobe love? I’ll help you restart the fire, and I’ll even bring along a fire extinguisher to manage the bang vs basic sparks that will inevitably flare up. You can book a StyleStart call with me here and I’ll answer all your burning questions (non-yeast related, just to be clear).
Hi, I’m Nicole, and I’m a personal stylist obsessed with helping women in business and corporate roles to experience effortless, stylish dressing, allowing them to stand out for all the right reasons. I bring strategy, solutions and expertise to my clients. I fully understand the challenges women face when trying to achieve a wardrobe that actually works and I take the pain out of shopping for clothes and deciding what to wear. I transform something that feels fraught and complex into a streamlined solution expertly tailored to you.
Cover Image credit: Fi Mims Photography